Said no one ever.
My years of coaching if anything, has taught me that PASSION is a buzzword being thrown around like it’s priceless and meaningless.
Clients and potential clients often come to me expecting a coach to have all the answers to their passion. The question is always “How can I find my passion?” or “I don’t have a passion, is there something wrong with me?”.
It was these kinda questions that bother me a lot and I realised they stem from a few common patterns.
1. Passion can only be ONE thing.
People are obsessed with finding passion because they think that passion is that ONE thing – that one thing that makes you happy, fulfilled, and everything in their lives will be solved.
They are wrong. Passion can be multiple things, passion can be things totally unrelated to your work, passion can be something you think are extremely unproductive – but they serve one thing, they make you feel excited, happy, enjoyable while doing it.
2. Passion must make money and pay the bills.
If the world is perfect as this, we will not be facing all the different challenges affect the world. I am not saying that this is impossible – everything is possible, but if your focus are solely on turning passion into profit, you are only looking for quick gains, it is not sustainable and long term.
I was doing free coaching when I first started. My fees was so low I had to bootstrap in my first few years. I had to loan money from my parents to be able to take up new courses and invest in my own learning and growth.
3. If I don’t have a passion, I am a failure.
Everyone is rushing for the passion “mine”. If you don’t have a passion that makes you money (refer to point #2 above), then I am a failure. It then turns into a vicious cycle – from I am a failure to trying really hard to look for passion to not enjoying what you do.
Most successful people I know often ask themselves one question before they are successful: What am I grateful for in what I am doing now?
Successful people do not become successful by chasing and finding their passion. They find success, joy, and fulfilment in the present. They CONSTANTLY work on themselves to get to where they want to be, even if they don’t know what that would be, yet.
Instead of getting stuck in finding your passion, do these instead:
1. Try and try and master
My one most important advise to my clients are to try.
Try what makes you feel good, that one thing that makes you forget your lunch, or that one thing that you do, time just magically passes by WAY faster. Try and keep doing that thing and master it, be good at it.
Maybe you will be great at it, or maybe you won’t and you find out you hate them.
And that is ok. that is part of the process called LIFE.
Life is about exploration and adventure.
2. Get clarity
No, not clarity of what your passion is. Passion is a mean to an end. It helps us get to where we want to be. Get clear on your end goal, then work out the rest as you go along. It is those journey where you will be able to find out what your passion lies.
If I were to follow my passion 10 years ago, I would have been a salesperson. I really love sales when I was young.
I loved being able to meet people smarter than me, older than me, and more experienced than me. I loved to be able to pushed and challenged, and I loved that feeling of fulfilment when I close sales – it showed me what is possible.
But I know continuing in sales is not what I want to do because I am clear with my end goal – transforming lives and helping people to live to the fullest. When I was exposed to coaching, my passion changed.
I see another means towards my end goal. I switched. I moved. I try coaching.I was a beginner. I have no idea what I was doing. I struggled. Then, I master coaching (and still learning).
The rest is history.
3. Embrace the grind
In an era where “hustling” is being worshipped, I believed that it is not hustling through that matters. What mattered more is embracing the process.
I shrugged every single time when people approached me and speak to me about my achievement and how lucky I am to be able to do something I am passionate about.
What they don’t realised is the grind behind the scenes.
The hours spent preparing keynote slides, writing business proposals where 7 out of 10 will be revised for a few rounds and then almost 80% of them will be rejected), the potential clients meeting, and finally the actual client’s coaching sessions.
I enjoyed what I do is not because I am doing what I am passionate about. It is because I embrace what I don’t enjoy doing.
I find learnings in what I don’t enjoy doing, and most importantly, I am clear – they are necessary to get me to where I want to be.
When we are struggling or going through the motion to achieve what we want in the future, we forgot to live in the present.
What if that future that you wanted is already here with you today? What if you are already there in that future in your mind?
- How would you speak? How would you think?
- Who do you hang out with? What would you be learning?
- What would your daily habit be like?
- Who is around you and how would your day to day be like?
People think of achievement or success in these steps:
have success, do success, and be successful.
For example, people think that they are successful only when they have achieved certain title, salary, or buying certain materials. Unfortunately, as human species, we always want more. We then realised when we have them, we wanted more, and the “success” and happiness elude us all the time.
Almost half of my clients are people who have already achieved what they would define as success when they kickstart their career – the title, salary, or that dream company. But they came to me clearly looking dejected, emotionally and physically drained, and looking for ways out of that rut.
I am not sure about you, but that model has never worked for me.
What worked for me for YEARS is this:
Be. Do. Have.
Be – Raise your standard. Be the future person you want to be. Think, speak, act like the person you want to be NOW.
Do – Act, behave, and make decisions as if you are already the person you want to be. What would your habits be like? How would your mornings be like?
Have – This is when successes come to you, they become part of you because you are embodying them already.
I don’t wait to be the best speaker (HAVE), I speak, practice, and learn (BE) as if I am the best speaker, and seek for opportunity to speak (DO).
I don’t wait to to be the best coach (HAVE), I coach, mentor, and train (BE) as if I am already the best coach, and I invest in growing myself (DO).
How would you behave and act if you are already your future self? Start behaving and acting that way TODAY.
“Winners act like winners before they become winners. That’s how they become winners.” -Bill Walsh