I Just Rejected A $10,000 Contract And I Realized That It Is OK.
Don’t get me wrong; there was a moment of pain, and a gazillion (ok, I exaggerated) of “What can I do if I accept it?” thought which ran through my mind the moment I said the big word “NO” to the potential client.
To accept or to reject this contract has been in my mind for awhile after the initial discussion and after the trial and error phase of the project.
$10,000 is a huge amount for a side project I must admit. 40 hours of work per month for 6 months. I could have pay for a lot of things in my life; got my vacation covered, or savings for my house renovation, or heck, I could even check of my bucket list of paying for my parents’ all expense trip to Europe with that pay. But I did not.
You must be thinking, “Who in a sane mind would reject that kinda pay?!!”
Yes, me. I just did.
Why would I do that?
1. It was not a “Fuck Yes” moment.
You know those time when making a decision was such a breeze? That feeling that hits you straight and the decision was right there? It was so easy that you will want to say yes right away?
Yeap, this contract was not that. It was a project with a lot of uncertainties in mind. There were more moments of “Should I, Should I Not?” than moment of conviction. Conviction whereby I knew this is exactly what I want and will do for this project. Conviction whereby I knew exactly what and how I could contribute 101% for the project.
For me, Fuck Yes is an important aspect in my decision making. It reflects my conviction, commitment, and persistence in making things happen for the project. It is also directly proportionate to the effort that I will put in. Why are these important?
Attitude + Effort = MASSIVE Results
Fuck Yes is something that we always look for in life. We want to work on meaningful careers that will make us willingly put in the extra effort to make things happen. We want to live a life where we are committed to do something and happily doing it. Those are fuck yeses.
Recall moments when we accepted and committed to things that were not a fuck yes? Yes we learn, but if feels pretty shitty, no?
What if, we learn to accept things and only do it if it is a fuck yes? Even if we know it could go wrong, but we are willing to give a fuck yes to it and give the best shot?
Start living a life of fuck yeses. Nothing less, because you deserve the best that you can get. It will change your perspectives and change the way you life your live and experiences.
2. It does not contribute to my goal.
For any of you who know me, my BHAG is to coach 1 million people around the world. Don’t ask me how, but I know I can and I will.
Having coached, mentored, and trained more than 10,000 young people around the world, people do look for me for perspectives, consultancy and advisory on projects and programs related to young people. This project is one of them .
The project does compensate me quite well financially, but it contributes close to nothing to my ultimate goal. This struck me because how often did we say we have goals but we make decisions and actions which are against or not related to our ultimate goals? It’s pretty sad to see that happen, isn’t it?
We make more and more decisions and actions on our day to day life that were not related to our goals and ultimately they suck up so much of our energy and time. When that happens, we start to live a life of “What ifs?”.
What if I did not make the choice back then? What if I make that decision differently back then?
Start to actually live your goals. Don’t just talk about it. Be mindful and conscious about it; write it down and paste it all over your room.Make decisions congruent to your goals. Take small steps. Your goals might change along the way, but that is OK. What matters is that YOU worked on it instead of giving excuses.
3. It did not motivate me.
Well, at least not at this point of time.
I am a firm believer of doing things because they really motivate you or because they are align with your values.
My motivation has always been a key driver in what I do. For me, my motivation has mainly revolves around my purpose, or Ikigai.
Ikigai is Japanese concept,whereby it means “the reason of being”.
I am excited and motivated by my reason of being; To coach people so that they are capable of elevating their being for a better and purposeful life.
Recall, how many times have we spent saying things like, “This does not motivate me” or “I am demotivated, I can’t do this anymore”.
This is exactly the reason why I said no to the project. If I can’t wake up every day feeling excited and wanting to get my hands on the project right away, something is wrong. And I don’t want to live my life that way.
Ask yourself, what motivates you to wake up this morning to get to work? What motivates you to stand strong despite all the challenges you faced? Would you wake up and do the same thing for the next few years? If the answer is no, time to make a change.
Motivation, just like passion is not born. It is experiences. Don’t go looking for it, but go and experience it.
Your experiences are in direct relation to knowing what really motivates you. Do more, grow more, live life.
The main reason why I shared this post is because I feel a strong compelling reason that a lot of people out there are doing this; saying yes for something that is not motivating and always afraid to say no.
The moment we say yes for something that are not empowering nor motivating us, we are essentially saying no to a potential fuck yes.
A mentor once told me: “Go big or go home”. I learned it and twisted it; “Fuck yes or no”.
And it is OK to say no.
Do not let others determine your actions, your life, and your real reason of being.