Your Confidence Is In Your Hand
That feeling of not being good enough or just that fear that is holding us back from doing what’s important, they have probably happened in our lives before in one way or another. That important sales pitch or presentation, that 1-1 conversation with your CEO, or just that time when you need to speak up to your colleagues or partner.
We have all experienced that and more than that, some of us might have experienced how bad it felt when you were not able to do what you want just because of that fear of lack of confidence.
I have seen this multiple times with my clients when I help them in the process of creating breakthrough on their lives. My clients ranging from corporate executives to entrepreneurs have this same roadblock – lack of confidence. This lack of confidence can stem from various reasons – a negative trauma or failure from the past, fear of authority, lack of competencies or knowledge, or just simply fear of speaking up.
In my work with my clients, one common patter exists all the time, and that is they all have been confident at one point in their lives. So what changed and how can I help them to bring it back?
We all have been confident before. We just need to harness it and bring it back to the NOW!
Most people make the mistake of thinking that they need to have the confidence first before they can do anything. But in this instance, the phrase “Fake it till you make it” can go a long way.
You need to be able to change your physiology to be that confident person you want to be.
How does a confident person stand?
How does a confident person dress?
How does a confident person talk?
What does a confident say to him/herself?
And all your answers that you have above, BE IT. Be exactly like what you answered in those questions.
If you are able to move and create your physiology to be the way you want it to be, you are already halfway there in harnessing your confidence in an instant.
Changing your physiology changes your reality. Now it is time to trick your brain into the reality. I have discussed about this a lot, most notably in my TEDx talk – but I will emphasized it again. Our brain is meant to help us to survive and to keep us safe. If speaking up, doing a public presentation is by any chance remotely “dangerous” to us, the brain will do all it takes to stop us from doing it.
In order to help our brain to feel the world differently, we need to be able to condition it to think AND feel differently. This is where you need to use your creative imagination and positive thinking a little.
How would you feel when you have successfully achieve what you want to do?
What would be the positive emotion that you would experience after the successful completion of that task?
When was the last time you feel the same? Imagine that situation and feel the exact same feeling.
Internalizing this feeling helps your brain to felt safer with the positive outcome even though it has yet to happen. As powerful as our brain can be, this step helps our brain to feel “safer” to do what you are supposed to do.
Emotion creates motion.
‘Just go out there and DO IT! Get on the stage and rock that presentation. Get up and pitch so passionately that you can feel that is the best pitch ever. Stand, move, and speak to you manager about the challenges you are facing. Whatever that is, DO IT! Remember, emotion creates motion.
Remember those times when you were so pissed that you could literally land a punch on someone’s face? Or just so disappointed that you could utter words you never will if you are calm? Most of us have been there, but instead of allowing that negative emotions to govern us, why not use our positive emotion to take action?
With the powerful positive emotion you have been feeling in the previous step, now it’s time to translate that to action. No questions, just actions.
Nothing will work on its first time, although some of my clients told me the first time they implement this 4-step strategy, they already feel the shift in energy and confidence. They most likely do because I coached them throughout the process.
But if you are reading this and implementing this in your life, the only way for things to work is for you to practice it. Repeat step 1-3 every single time you felt that feeling of lacking in confidence or the fear to step out to do something.
If we allow our same pattern of thinking to approach our lives, nothing will change. The same lack of confidence and fear will creep up upon you. Try and test this 4-step strategy to start to make a difference in your life.
Disclaimer: This process is for ad-hoc confidence boost, like how you have a couple of shots before going to the party? This strategy is not meant to help you to deal with the root cause of the problem but aims to help you when you need it in that moment. However, I do help my clients with solving the root cause once and for all and I do that in my full 2-day seminar.You can read about it here as I help my clients to regain confidence in different areas of their lives.